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Evil Dead
Dead Hate the Living
[zombie girls]
Redneck Zombies
I don't even know where to start on this, for once I am at a loss for words... This is the absolute worst movie i have seen in my life. Not just the worst horror movie, I mean worst movie period. I would rather watch those dramas on "Lifetime: Television for Women" than taint my VCR with this pile of crap again.

It starts out like an episode of the Beverly Hilbillies on LSD. The adult "children" are running for the tobacco man, who gives a long weird monologue about the evils of tobacco and scares them. The neighbor shot up their still, so they take his, which is actually a barrel of toxic waste. They use the barrel for a still, and the 'shine ends up turning everyone who drinks it into a zombie.

Back on the highway, some guy picks up a hitch hiker. It might have been funny had I not watched Texas Chainsaw Massacre the same day. So to me, it just seemed blaphemous and just very, very wrong. It's a parody of the hitch hiker scene, only instead of being the "killer" in a slaughterhouse, this guy is the "shaver" in a barber shop. The dialog is pretty much just adapted from said TCM scene, from the dude shouting "Hitch hiker!" to the end of the scene, "That's the last hitch hiker I'll ever pick up!" In related news, later in the film there's a family, one dressed like Leatherface, and the one camper named Sally is tied to the chair. Remember folks, alluding to good horror movies does not automatically make your movie good. In fact, in this movie the references depressed me terribly.

Meanwhile there's a mismatched group of campers nearby, arguing about stupid things. They get killed by the redneck zombies, go figure. So the remaining three campers hide out in a cave, bringing a dead zombie with them. The one guy is studying to be a vet, and they tell him to perform an autopsy. But he's tripping, and psychedelic drugs and dead bodies don't really mix. He cuts the corpse open, makes bad jokes, and considers climbing inside(!). When he finally comes around, he vomits into the zombie.

Another redneck, Billy Bob aka Ellie Mae, has got stuck with the duty of delivering the 'shine to all the neighbors. It takes him quite a while, and when he gets home he sees that things aren't quite right.

Well that's all the bandwidth I feel like wasting on this movie. It's shot on video, so it's not terribly pretty to look at, the acting is the worst I've ever seen, and the effects kind of suck. The script is the dumbest and most boring I've encountered in a while, too. And is it ever long! Not only does this movie suck real bad, it sucks real bad for a REALLY LONG TIME! If I can stop one person from watching this movie, I will die a happy zombie girl.

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